a backdrop of mountains

the mystery of love.

2009-04-30T16:18:00.000-07:00

i feel this current season of my life can be defined in one word: LOVE. perfect love. the love that God bestows on His children freely, consistently, and abundantly. i have been reading "the ragamuffin gospel" by brennan manning and want to share some of the wisdom and truth have have taken away from this read, regarding God's love and His gospel of grace:

"you are accepted. never confuse your perception of yourself with the mystery that you really are accepted."

"my deepest awareness of myself is that I am deeply LOVED by Jesus Christ and I have done nothing to earn or deserve it."

"But trust in the God who loves consistently and faithfully nurtures confident, free disciples. A loving God fosters a loving people."

"There we are- the multitude who so wanted to be faithful, who at times got defeated, soiled by life, and bested by trials, wearing the bloodied garments of life's tribulations, but through it all clung to the faith."

[my prayer is that i will choose to live out of the realization, the truth, that i am accepted and loved and this will NEVER change. i can only love others well if i can see my own self the way that Christ does and view others in the same light. ]

and then one day it's spring.

2009-04-21T13:46:00.000-07:00

so it's april. my inclination is to believe that green grass will begin to grow, flowers will appear (especially yellow daffodils), and i'll be able to start wearing my chacos and t-shirts without the need for a jacket. well...colorado must be different. last friday i woke up to this:

yes, it was absolutely beautiful. but after a season of cold temperatures and the temptation of spring, i was a little bit disappointed. only 2 weeks before i had been comfortable in my t-shirt and the river was beginning to rise because of the snowmelt. this winter has seemed a bit abnormal this year so i guess i can't be too suprised! but we were all thankful for the warmer temperatures on sunday that melted the snow from the ground. i am currently wearing a t-shirt and enjoying the sunshine and blue sky! oh, a promise of spring!

GOD IS GOOD...

2009-03-10T18:48:00.000-07:00

throughout the last 48 hours, these are the only words that seem to make sense. i would like to share with you a story of colorado winters, but moreso about God's grace and his goodness to me.

a friend of mine, melody, had come to visit us here at redcloud and the 3 of us (being amy carr, melody, and i) left before the sun on sunday morning to take her to denver. at about 9 AM we began our trek up monarch pass, which we had been warned could be a bit icy/snowy from the recent weather. well, we didn't make it very far. at the base of the pass i hit a patch of ice, causing the car to slide across the road, into the other lane of traffic. the only thing that made sense at the time was putting the brakes on and bracing myself for what i was pretty sure would happen. well, it happened. we went down over the bank, spun and rolled onto the roof of the car. it all seemed to happen in slow motion until the 3 of us called out for each other, hoping to hear that we were all right. this is the point in time when all i could say was "praise jesus." we released ourselves from our seatbelts (which proved to be quite a lifesaver) and were able to walk up onto the road, where we were met by a generous couple in an RV.

at the end of the day, we were all walking with no injury. just sore backs and 3 very, very tired girls. over and over again we just kept saying, "GOD IS GOOD, GOD IS GOOD." i really can't think of any other reason that we were kept from harm. so, to God be the glory! amy and i were praying that night before we finally got into our beds and our prayer is that somehow the firefighters, EMT's, the nice couple in the RV all saw that God deserved the glory and He is a good and gracious God. so, although i don't think i'll be fond of winter driving for quite some time (or really ever) i think i'm thankful for this reminder of God's sovereignty over my life and that His purpose is always good.

i leave you with this picture.

and then one day it's spring.

2009-02-26T15:30:00.000-08:00

currently in lake city we are experiencing spring. when we have record temperatures of -20 this time of year, spring seems a little bit out of the ordinary. our broomball court that we built on the pond now has 2-3 of standing water on top of it so we are resorting to, what we like to call, "mudball". gross. unlike the staff, the kids LOVE the mud and we're here to please, so play ball kids! the other result of melting snow and ice is lots of falling, or what i call dancing :) it's kind of comical to watch people out of the window shuffle over the crusty snow and ice and flail their arms above their head and throw one, or both, of the feet into the air. there hasn't been any broken bones, but countless lovely bruises. spring in colorado doesn't seem to be the norm :)

until next time,
love from the rockies.

P.S. this new post was for you, jill :)

please pass the salt.

2009-02-11T14:56:00.000-08:00

i love community. i will forever be blessed to be a part of the one that i am in now. but i have had thoughts, as of late, that i might be hiding in this community; scared to pick up my feet and take that first step into a world that is different. i was always somewhat self-conscious in high school and college when someone would ask me to think about one of my non-christian friends that i could be praying for or investing in. well, what if i don't have any? am i sheltering myself inside of like-minded community and avoiding the discomfort or pain that i might face in the "real" world?

Jesus says we are the salt and light of the world. so how am i bringing light to dark places or offering flavor to conversations with those that don't know Christ? i know, without a doubt, that redcloud is where the Lord has chosen to use me at this time and i don't, and won't, discount the blessing that is living in encouraging, admonishing Christian community. i have been challenged to grow in my knowledge and relationship with Christ, as well as in my role of ministry. but i want to be courageous enough to step away from this from time to time and be the salt and light that, as a follower of Christ, i am called to be.

traveling shoes.

2009-01-26T17:32:00.000-08:00

"you pass through places, places pass through you but you carry 'em with you on the sole of your travelin' shoes."

on thursday i will put on my pair of traveling shoes to begin my move to lake city, colorado! i am so thankful that some of the places we pass through we get to return to. i am anxious as i anticipate my job at Redcloud and beginning my life there. i have had to remind myself that i am not returning for a short 3-month period, but instead i will be living there indefinitely! a prayer answered :) i arrive in lake city on saturday, will spend a day skiing with my brother on sunday and be ready for work on monday morning!

2009-01-18T15:37:00.000-08:00

my best friend, courtney, got married yesterday. courtney and i met as 10 year olds, suffered through those painful middle school days together, were inseperable through high school, and supported each other across the miles in college. courtney has been a faithful and encouraging friend that challenges me to seek God in greater ways, and in all areas of life (which is possibly the greatest quality a friend can have). all this to say...i couldn't be happier for courtney and jason richter as they begin their marriage and journey through life!

as my friends get married, i can't help but notice that we are all getting OLDER. i know, 23 is NOT old. but we are graduates of college, homeowners, husbands and wives, working men and women. what happened to carpools and friday nights at the movies? or living only 5 minutes away from one another, not 1000 miles away. oh how the times change...

i will say one thing: weddings make for the BEST parties and the sweetest reunions!

ready.

2009-01-13T20:58:00.000-08:00

i have now been away from redcloud for 2 1/2 months and i am more than ready to be back. i feel as if my life is in limbo right now and i am just anxious to begin my life in lake city.

but i also don't want to live as if my life here in houston is without purpose. i have been thankful for this time in texas to reconnect with great friends and spend more time with my sister. this time is precious and i'm sure that when i'm miles away in the mountains i'll want a trip to texas every now and then.

but...i CAN'T WAIT to be back in the mountains, being a part of full-time ministry. learning. serving.

an adventurous spirit.

2008-12-10T18:06:00.000-08:00

i have kept a small piece of paper in my Bible for over a year now. i read over the words weekly and been increasingly encouraged by them:

Many people are so preoccupied with future plans and decisions that they fail to see choices they need to makes TODAY. Without any conscious awareness, they make their habitual responses. People who live this way find a dullness creeping into their lives. They sleepwalk through their days, following well-worn paths of routine.

I, the Creator of the universe, am the most creative Being imaginable. I will not leave you circling in deeply rutting paths. Instead, I will lead you along fresh trails of adventure, revealing to you things you did not know. Stay in communication with Me; follow my guiding Presence.

take away what you may. but be encouraged by God's seemingly adventurous spirit.

another day at redcloud.

2008-10-03T22:49:00.000-07:00

quick story for you to enjoy:

as you all know, it is fall in lake city, CO. prime time for hungry bears to make their way into camp on a mad search for food. well, tonight smoky the bear decides to invite himself into MY cabin. he opens the door on his own, saunters inside, leaving his muddy pawprints on our counters, mattresses, and windows. thank you, mr. bear! he makes his way to my bunk (which is at the back of the cabin, by the way) and manages to steal my apples out of their wal-mart bag, eating half and leaving the rest on the floor! he doesn't even clean up after himself. sheesh.

all the while, kathryn is sitting on the top bunk reading. noticing it is smoky that is making a scene....and not me...she yells and screams until he saunters back outside. welcome to fall in lake city!

the times, they are a changin'.

2008-09-14T13:59:00.000-07:00

or maybe just the leaves. my favorite thing to do at the moment: look up at the mountains and see small patches of bright yellow. this means fall in colorado is fastly approaching...and i couldn't be happier.

the pace of life has changed a bit, too, recently. outdoor ed has started and my weeks are filled with rowdy 5th graders calling me "tipper" and learning all there is to know about animals and the solar system. man, i missed out on field trips. these kids are lucky. but i love 'em.

for those of you who care: LESS than 2 months until i'm re-united with 340. oh goodness.

a beautiful world

2008-08-31T11:57:00.000-07:00

we live in a beautiful world...yeah we do, yeah we do.

as i listen to coldplay, i am reminded of this simple truth. i do live in a beautiful world. one that God created perfectly. it is filled with beautiful people that i can learn and grow from. i sit here trying to understand the process of photosynthesis so that i can adequately teach 5th graders the mystery of plant life. and once again, i'm reminded of how beautiful and complex our world is. we are woven together in an intricate pattern, designed to be a reflector of God's glory.

so, thank you to coldplay for this beautiful reminder.

2008-08-23T14:30:00.000-07:00

i have watched more movies in the past five days, than i have all summer. it's been wonderful. i have a new-found appreciation for the "chick-flick" and cried along with tom hanks in cast away. this week off has been restful and productive. i have had ample time to think about the summer, as well the next months ahead of me.

i began my blogging career talking about my life that was in transition. although i do believe i will always be in some form of transition, it's a great feeling to know i can settle in to life here at redcloud for the time being. and...God is good, all the time. this i will always know.

2008-07-31T11:15:00.000-07:00

over the course of 3 months i have enjoyed life. and realized several things about myself:

- i LOVE to laugh. at anything. at any time.
- i thoroughly enjoy '80's music...and dancing.
-marmots might just be my new favorite animal.
-and i might not dislike city life as much as i admit too. in fact, sometimes miss it.

over the river and through the woods.

2008-07-13T09:51:00.000-07:00

my life here in the mountains allows me strolls along the river and scenic hikes through, what i believe to be, some of God's most beautiful creations.

allow i often find myself fearing the river (mainly when i'm in a raft), i have grown quite fond of its constant flow and calming voice. i walked along the river for awhile last weekend and loved watching the water roll over the rocks in different patterns every time. i love that the river is constant: always flowing. i love the flowers with their small white petals that only seem to grow next to the river.

somtimes i find myself forgetting to remember the beauty that i get to see daily. my prayer is that, just like the river, i'll recognize something new about this beauty every day.

: sending some love from the rockies :

my wilderness family.

2008-06-30T12:36:00.000-07:00

well, i have now been at redcloud for a month and a half now and wanted to introduce to you all the incredible people i get to work with. (and in no particular order)

risa: she has become a great friend and we both thoroughly enjoy raspberry truffle ice cream from the soda shop. she is passionate about people and i admire her patience.

joy: she might be small but her energy inspires me. she loves life, about as much as she loves rock climbing.

kaily: she traveled the farthest to join us from oregon and loves here state. she is disciplined and inspires me to run, and also has a great sense of humor. she's a joy to be around.

becca: probably the hardest worker i know. she loves people well, and can bake the best cookies redcloud has ever seen.

christina: she's from maine and LOVES the water. she encourages to do all things well and i admire her perseverance. anyone who has rafted the gaully (sp?) is impressive in my book.

harrison: harry is from north carolina and is quite fond of his state. he loves tupac and coffee, but his love for Jesus is evident in all he does. he's been a good friend.

matt: (otherwise known as "brew") he is probably the funniest person i have ever met. he loves to fly fish and you'll never see him without his coffee in hand. he is very wise and it's a joy to hear him talk about God's Word.

chris: the best 80's dancer i know. his sense of humor always offers a laugh and his good attitude is such an encouragement. he'll take a cheeseburger any day and has become famous off of MTV's super-sweet 16.

dannon: dannon is selfless and loves to serve others. he encourages me to do the same. he is passionate about the outdoors (and his jeep!) and loves sharing that with others.

zach: a free spirit that has shown me how to love those that are hard to love. his outlook on life is much different than mine, but is refreshing and challenging. i appreciate this.

ryan: he loves to rock climb and teach people to snowboard, and always entertains us with his sense of humor. he's a great leader, loves kids, and so fun to work with.

andy: andy always challenges me to seek God and know him more. he is wise and his heart for this ministry is contagious. he is from kansas, loves big fires, and has some of the best stories i've heard.

luke: the boss-man. he has an inspiring vision for wilderness ministry and loves speaking Truth to others. he is extremely sarcastic and shares andy's story-telling gift.

*these 11 people have quickly become family and i value each of them, all for their different gifts. they have impacted me in a way that continually challenges me and encourages me to pursue God in greater ways.

2008-05-10T18:04:00.001-07:00

i started my journey west today, towards lake city, colorado. i drove across the open plains of texas, seeing paris and rome, and got lost in a town named after david bowie. i feel as if i got my dose of texas pride today...before i leave the state for 6 months. god bless the lone star state!

driving allows me to think, undistracted. i contemplated a lot today and admitted to myself that i am a bit nervous for the summer. i feel somewhat incompetent, but God was gracious enough to remind me that he will compensate for my inadequacy.

here's to the final leg of my journey- the great west.

2008-05-05T20:34:00.000-07:00

life in transition.

is hard. i pulled out of my driveway at 340 holly st., drove around the JBU campus for the last time, and turned onto the open stretch of highway ahead of me. i cried as i realized how many "lasts" i had just experienced. my 4 years spent at JBU were sweet, and life-changing. i praise God for this place, for friendships, and for growth.

but today, i took one step forward. i opened a new checking account, cleaned my car, and made a trip to REI for the summer. in only 4 short days i will head out on that open road again and travel west towards colorado. i can't wait for the first glimpse of mountains. for people.

here i go. welcome to my life in transition.